Some friends of mine sometimes refer to Jesus as ‘sneaky’. Today, I had one of those ‘sneaky Jesus’ moments.
I’ve been struggling with singleness for a while – how to enjoy it, how to cope with being surrounded by loved-up couples, whether wanting a partner is a bad thing, struggling with the green eyed monster which I find can emerge if I dwell on things too long.
So last night, I picked up my Bible and began to read from the Gospel of John. I had one of those moments when a verse appeared to fly off the page and hit me square between the eyeballs! John 5:30 reads ‘By myself I can do nothing. As I hear from God, I judge, and my judgement is true because I do not live to please myself, but to do the will of the Father.’
Anyway, when I read this verse, something in me clicked. I’m not meant to be living to please myself. Jesus certainly didn’t live to please himself. Rather, I should be living to please my creator. The creator in whom I claim to trust – and therefore should trust with my love life!I can do nothing apart from Him and I have to trust that God has the right person, at the right time. Or that God will continue to do a work in me that will make me ‘ok’ with a call to singledom (still a work in progress!)
It struck me that I am priviledged enough to have at least an inkling of a calling, and that for the moment – I’ve got a clear idea of the kind of work God wants me to do. Just perhaps, part of that work will be more easily done whilst I’m single. And if I’m focussing on the God I serve, the call He has placed on my life and the people I love in my life, there will be less time and energy spent on thinking about what I don’t have.
And so, to the bit of this story that makes Jesus seem sneaky (in the best possible way). Two of my friends announced their engagement and I was able to feel completely happy for them -no sense of regret that it wasn’t me, or a twinge of jealousy – just joy that two people whom I love are deciding to spend their lives together!
I love how God works through His Word to reveal His character and plan, to put minds at ease and hearts at rest. It makes me want to make the most of the life I lead and the friends I have while I can give my attention more fully to them!