Rachael Newham

It’s a strange time. I’m fast approaching the end of my degree. The end of three years which have formed me, challenged me and changed me in unimaginable ways.

It’s daunting, because I love LST. I love the people, the atmosphere and the teaching I’ve received and, this evening I bumped into a PhD student who I met on my interview day in 2008. I recalled our meeting when she was in the second year of her undergraduate degree, and I was only seventeen.

Fast forward four years, our lives look very different. I know I look different. At seventeen I was frail. A strange way to describe a 17-year-old, but it’s true. I was exhausted by life, faith and mental illness. LST was my hope for the future. The very thought of the place had sustained me throughout my GCSEs and it focussed my mind in during my A-levels.

It is a scary thought, therefore, that such a change is impending. That the period I had longed for, is nearly over. I have never coped particularly well with change, it has always scared me, even when the change is good.

I’m looking forward to what is to come, but I don’t particularly want to think about the transition. I’d quite like to skip to the bit where I’m used to the next phase. I am determined to make the most of my final few months as an undergraduate before I embark (hopefully!) on post-graduate study and a job in the mental health sector.

I do trust in the fact that God has brought me thus far, despite my doubt and fear. I am thankful that God had brought me through those times when I did not believe I could go on another minute – let alone complete a demanding degree course.

I admit that I am fearful of the future. I admit that I hate change.

And yet,

I trust in the God who remains the same. I trust that God will work through the change.