I Wish

I wish I could tell my seventeen year old self that everything would be okay. 

Today I saw a video of myself speaking to the crowd at the Youthwork Summit on behalf of ThinkTwice. It was a strange feeling, a strange experience, watching myself. 

It was stranger still because for a long time I never thought I’d be alive to see 22 – let alone living a life I love. 

In one of the darkest nights of my soul, the chaplain of my secondary school told me that one day I’d be speaking about that which haunted me and helping other people. I remember giving a dry, cynical laugh which made me sound much older than I was. 

I didn’t believe in life and I didn’t really trust that God would see me through. I didn’t think I’d ever be able to live independently, get a degree or a boyfriend. 

Sometime in the last six years- I got all three. 

And it has very little to do with me – I chose life – but God did the rest. He is faithful beyond all measure.

I wish I could tell myself, then, that it would be okay – better than okay. 

I’m going to content myself with telling others – passing on that hope. 

God’s got you – He’s not through with you – He’s not going to abandon you. 


One response to “I Wish”

  1. Hello – I came across this yesterday as I was fishing around for just the right “angle” to start a new mental health action group in a church. (I wanted to talk about “dreaming big”) This article and the last one were PERFECT! Thank you so much! Please get in touch if you’re interested in talking some more about the work that we have in common. God bless.


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