I am well aware that I have woefully neglected my writing in the last few months – but I have a good excuse, I promise!
I started two new jobs, got engaged to be married, got a promotion of sorts and handed in the final draft of my dissertation!
There’s been a lot on my plate, and I’ve been wearing lots of different hats. Dashing from the medical centre where I’m a receptionist, to the project I’m helping to run, home to be a student again and write words, keep ThinkTwice ticking over, before exploring the wonders of wedding planning with my fiancé! I love that I live a varied life, I love being busy and having lots to do.
And yet I’ve become increasingly aware that I’m suffering from the scourge of modern women. You see, I’ve been harbouring under the illusion that I can do it all, that I can ‘be’ it all.
Somewhere along the way, I began to believe that I was Superwoman.
Rest? Relaxation? An evening in?
Not for superwoman, she can do it all and be it all!
…The problem is, of course, that it’s not a very sustainable belief. Before long life begins to catch up with you.
And life caught up with me in the way a wave catches up with the shore – but slamming into it!
So I cried and slept, and gave in to the darkness that was seeping into my bright and busy life. It’s a darkness I know all too well, and yet it never ceases to shock me and catch me unawares.
Particularly now. Now when I am so happy and fulfilled.
Superwoman crashed and burned.
And as tentatively I shifted and slept myself back to a semblance of normality, I realised something.
Superwoman doesn’t need God.
Superwoman doesn’t need an all-powerful and all-loving God because she’s got it covered.
But I’m going to let you into a secret.
I’m not superwoman.
And I need the all-powerful and all-loving God.
Sometimes, I think we are afraid to talk about the power of God. We speak of His kindness (which is vast) and we speak of His love (which is boundless).
But how often do we speak of the power that can move mountains? The power that (in whichever way you believe) made the very earth we stand on?
I know I’ve been guilty of forgetting, of focussing on the Lion who lies down the with Lamb without reference to the Lion who roars and rescues His people.
I don’t know about you, but I need that God. I need God’s power – I can’t do without it.
It’s a tremendous comfort.
It gives me tremendous courage.
God reigns in His power. He’s got it in control, and if He has given me a job to do, He’s going to give me the tools to make it possible. I have responsibility for the way I use my gifts and time – but I do it in His power. The best thing is that scripture demonstrates time and again that God’s power is shown most potently when we are weak! And I have enough weakness for God to do mighty things. I just have to admit my weakness, and rest in His power.
I think Paul got it right when he wrote 2 Corinthians:
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
It’s a good job God shows His power with our weakness.
Because I’m not Superwoman, after all.