I was inspired to write this week by the first chapter of Timothy Keller’s book on Prayer, and more particularly, this quote.
“I was meant to ask the Holy Spirit to help me experience my theology.”
I’m good at reading theology. I spent five years studying it and dissecting it.
But experiencing it?
Somewhere along the way, it’s faded. There are many and varied truths I understand intellectually but still struggle with experientially. They’re the basics.
I am loved.
I am forgiven.
I am free.
So easy to say, harder to experience.
And I think it might have something to do with my rather paltry prayer life.
It’s the biggest challenge I have in relating to an invisible God; I want Him to sit down opposite me and speak, but I’m not great at actually trying to listen to Him.
I imagine that I’m not alone in the desire to hear God speak coupled with a distinct lack of listening to God.
It’s part of why I wanted to start writing again in all parts of my life. Writing is the way I communicate myself best and weirdly, it’s the way I listen to God best.
Somehow sitting before a blank page is easier than just sitting in silence.
And as I sit here this evening, with a blank page before me, I’m going to wait for God to speak and pray to experience the theology I so love to study.