On Friday, in my little corner of Rickmansworth the unincorporated organisation ThinkTwice was closed.
Minutes later, the old charity’s assets were transferred to the new Charitable Incorporated Organisation ThinkTwice.
From the outside, nothing has changed. ThinkTwice will continue to try and raise awareness of mental illness in the church and equip people to care pastorally for those who are struggling; our work will not look different.
It was a strangely emotional moment for me. As we prayed through the official ending and beginning, I felt my eyes fill. They filled in part because I’m a control freak and the fact that actually I’m not involved in every email about ThinkTwice terrifies me no matter how much I trust the trustees – but they also filled because I remember the two sparks which began ThinkTwice.
The spark on one of the darkest nights of my illness which pleaded with God for a way out or some light; and the spark which followed four years later and called me into beginning the strange journey of ThinkTwice.
All I wanted was something good to come out of what I’d been through; because I couldn’t bear to have lived through hell and it not being worth anything. I wanted, perhaps selfishly, something to show for what I’ve called my ‘lost years’.
After the meeting, my friend Kelly gave me this passage from the book of Isaiah 61
“The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,
because the Lord has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the broken-hearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,[a]
2 to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favour
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion –
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the Lord
for the display of his splendour.”
ThinkTwice is for the binding of the brokenhearted, the release from darkness, the freedom of captives, the comfort of those mourning.
ThinkTwice has become my garment of praise after the spirit of despair under which I lived for so long and I thank God that He has entrusted it to me to work on for as long as He wants me to.
And into this next chapter of ThinkTwice’s work, I’m going to wear my garment of praise and thank God for bringing me safe thus far as we start work on this brand new page of the ThinkTwice story.